Friday, 31 January 2014

Boiling Potatoes Burn Roof

Last nacht I had a big bowl of roast pots, squash, parsnips and beets (having decided that a clear out of the lower alimentary was probably in order).  So, all went well except for the pots which retained gallons more heat than the other vegetables and really burned the old roof.

So, I looked up potato propertied on Google and, so far so good, I got pointed in the direction of some science website called Quara(?).  Well, before it would let me enter the site a huge screen popped up and demanded I type in my email address and password for Google, so I thought: 'I should cocoa,' cos I'm not as green as I'm cabbage looking.

So, I closed the screen and dear old Peter Norton (the anti virus software) told me that he had bravely halted a dangerous hack of my system.  But I thought, I think not, Norton; after all I was the one who didn't go any further.  Honestly, when your own software tries to steal your thunder...

But I'm meandering around the tubers: guess what I found out about potatoes?  They use them in cavity wall insulation!

I mentioned this to Man Friday and he said: 'Don't you get any mental ideas, missus.'  He was referring to the fact that we've had terrible condensation this year and have toyed with air bricks and plasticky paint and polystyrene tiles, but finally hit upon the only efficacious and free solution - take the door off the offending closet.  True, everyone can see all our old rubbish, but it is better than mushrooms.

So when I mentioned the insulating properties of potatoes, M.F. thought I was reading up on some crackers idea in re tuberising the closet.

Sorry, don't know what I'm blethering on about in this blog - it all made sense when I started.

Oh, George down the road had a stroke poor old bugger.  He'd been on high blood pressure medicine for a hundred years but as he got older, his blood pressure normalised itself (don't ask me how) and so the medicine was too strong, and that's why he went all potty the other year and started crying over the dropped sausage (see previous blog).  So, he came orf the BP medicine and we all went 'phew' cos everyone thought it was the old dementia.  However, seems like praps he could've done with a bit of the medicine cos he then had a stroke.

He is getting better tho' (if a bit crab-like in the walking department) but gets very miffed if you get him on the subject of blood pressure.


  1. If you chop the pots into smaller pieces before roasting them, they'll cool more quickly when you take them out. As a budding scientist, you can look up the physics of heat diffusion and ask your local boffin to solve the equations.

    1. Goodly advice, Mr Bananas! I do wish I had a local boffin to consult; such fellows are thin on the ground around these parts. I wonder if Madame Poot has a brother-in-law with leather elbow patches? Hmmm, abfaux scientific advice dispenser....oh, I've simply re-invented the internet! Oh, did you here the rumour that Hitler survived the bunkerisation, escaped to Brazil and married a black lady? I'm not making this up: it's a real rumour!

    2. Haha, that's ridiculous! Hitler thought anyone who wasn't white was a "half ape". You can be sure he never went to Brazil, because if he'd gone there someone would have removed his remaining testicle.

  2. only just read this blog, it's so great to read, I'm on the floor laughing, no one but no one writes like you. One of these days I will drop by and surprise you xxx love you loads xxx Debbie