So, here is Noddy Holder:
And here is his doppelganger:
Yes, Margaret Rutherford!! How did that happen? Do you reckon they might be related? Or do lots of old geezers start looking like Margaret Rutherford? I might send a letter to Richard Dawkins, mebbes he can explain it. Weird one.
Anyhow. So much for hiding out in casa cos of Melvis's court case: it's only been shoved back in the pile (apparently the courts have got a lot of stabbed kids and dead pensioners and such pending) and now won't go to court for another month. So, me and Man Friday were hiding in casa for abso nothing - typical! And, to add insult to injury, he's started peeing in the bath again and it's currently dripping down thru my bathroom ceiling. I'm not being rotten (cos he's totally rip, bong, giddely dee) but for crying out loud - the khazi is only 2 feet away from the bath. Ah well.
Good old Chance (of chantscottage.blogspot.co.uk) actually made a proper recipe of my fave grub (egg with an anchovy). I didn't know it was possible. You really ought to go to her site for a gander, she bloody makes me laugh. Though, I must say, her's looks 8 million times more better than mine. So, I thought I'd spread my cunning method of making ertsatz Ben and Jerry's.
Buy tub of cheap vanilla ice cream (I mean cheap)
Buy packet of bourbon biscuits (I mean cheap)
Buy jar of Dulce de Leche (unfortu, it doesn't come cheap - it's sort of floppy caramel stuff in a jar)
Scrunch up bourbons.
Bung ice cream, bourbons and Dulce de Leche (not too much, it's doesn't grow on trees, you know!) into big bowl.
Stir it up a bit.
Bung it back in ice cream tub.
Bung ice cream tub back in freezer.
Totally tastes like B&J's and costs 57 thousand times less - bargain. Tip: if any kids are around, just put it in a dish and tell 'em it's B&J's - I do like kids but they can't tell their arses from their elbows and are easily fooled.
Oh. English has been evolved in casa. MF and me were watching Star Trek and Mr. Data was at the steering wheel and everything was going wrong. The captain's jumping up and down saying something along the lines of: 'Do something, Mutley!' and suddenly the ship goes all lurchey and everyone falls over.
Capt says: 'What happened Mr. Data?' And Mr. Data gets a pained looked on his face. He says: 'Sorry, Capt. I just had to vent some drive plasma.'
And mebbes you had to be there at the time, but it didn't half sound like a euphemism for: 'Sorry, I farted.'
Now, me and MF are constantly saying: 'Oops, sorry, just vented some drive plasma,' and making ourselves laugh like absolute cretins.
It doesn't take much...