Saturday, 24 March 2012

Henry V opens hairdressers in Nag's Head

Well, cos of scabby head I decided to give my hair a trim.  So I got the kitchen scissors, went in front of bathroom mirror and intended on taking a couple of inches off.  Trouble was I wasn't holding the scissors at 180 degrees, seems they were more like 45 degrees (I never realised, I think i was singing the Banana Splits theme tune or somesuch).  Anyhow, I did one huge snip and suddenly realise what I've done cos the left side of my hair is shaped like a giant' V'.  So I thought, oh I'll tidy that up and cut the v-shape off.  Then I was left with one side of my head like Henry V and the other side like Johnny Ramone.

So I called in Man Friday to finish it off (in case I made it any worse and veered towards Sinead O'Connor).  He couldn't stop laughing and said I looked like a rather aged boy, thank you very much.

Now, when I cut it, it was wet.  So I thought, oh balls, to the doctor's scabby head advice and blow dryed it.  And then I looked in the mirror.  Dear oh dear, talk about if Henry V had a perm.

Here is the picture of me:

And here is Henry V, apres perm (looking as if he'd lost a schilling and found sixpence); and I'd like to assure readers that he very, very rarely is seen without a full mug of make-up - so no getting scared now:

I dunno about the  armour: not sure if stripey blue and pink knitwear cuts it on the battlefield.

I think I accidentally took off about four/five inches of me hair.  And I've got bloody Man Friday swanning round the gaff, with his luxuriant locks (dropping 'em in the soup and clogging the plughole, moan, moan!).  He's looking so much more like this:

Except wearing a MotorHead tee-shirt.


  1. Dave, hello! Yes, Connie Brix has agreed to do guess dog-blog (coming soon - my agent is speaking her agent!!). And Vickie: pls send photo of Duke! And the phone comes in 2-tone green, mustard, grey and red (far as I know there is no pink - but will totally look out for one for you!)

    p.s. sorry I look so bleeding miserable in the photo; if I smile, I tend to look like some woodland creature; and if I smile without make-up I look like Gollum!!

  2. Weren't the Banana Splits brilliant? Do you remember 'The Singing Ringing Tree and The Clangers? Think hippies wrote all the programmes when we happened to be young. I haven't been in a barbers for 20 years. I just cut it once a year with one of those clipper thingamajigs they sell in Argos. Cheer up Carol. It's not that bad and you made us all laugh again. So you must be doing something right.

    1. CLANGERS! Totally loved 'em! Oliver Postgate must've been totally on LSD - what about the iron chicken and the soup dragon? Classics! Then, he only goes and invents BagPuss - I worship at the man's feet!!

  3. This made me laugh, causing Claire to stop her viola practice and come see what all the fuss was about. I also tried cutting my own hair a few weeks ago with near disasterous results. But I have rather less hair than you.

  4. Noggin the Nog, Ivor the Engine... Yeah Mr Postgate was a genius. I have had grown women (nay professional even) in their thirties and forties giggling in once respectable pubs. Especially when I pretend to be Johnny Ball (using my arm for a trunk) in Play School. Mr Ben was pretty cool also. Shall I go? Thanks for the nostalgia Carol!

  5. Feeling a bit cheesed off and this cheered me up no end so ta for that!

  6. Er, hello, me again! Bit of an olden kings mix up there. Page hits at top says 1066, so I thought 'my how appropriate', except it isn't actually at all, is it? Anyway thought I sounded a bit insincere when I said 'ditto' ('ditto'?! I ask you...) so just wanted to clarify that I think this is a brilliant blog and it is a complete pleasure to read. As you were.