She has passed out cold after going out in the garden and meeting a squirrel who was sitting in the middle of the path, eating a peanut, and staring at her with complete nonchalance.
Connie Brix stood stock still and watched the little blighter till he had finished the nut and buzzed orf to Casa del Squirrel (next door's tree). Then she looked at me, came back in again and collapsed on the chair - I think it was 'the vapours'.
Then, I was in Waitrose and I heard some commotion behind me in the fizzy drinks section. There was some middle-aged lady and her young kids (who were being a tad boisterous, but nothing on the Youth Offenders level) and then some much older (and severely more posh) old girl comes up behind her. Now, the posh old girl looks like she's reaching for the cream soda, but the more common ladie's kids are in the way and not moving to one side to let an older lady past. I mean, a bit cheeky but nothing that a good poke in the head wouldn't shift.
So, the posh old lady (who is white) goes to the common middle-aged lady (who is black): 'Could you please keep your children under control.'
And the black lady was obviously not in the best of moods and said something along the lines of: 'Why don't you shove it, you toffe-nosed old racist.'
By this time, I'm trying to blend in with the tonic water section.
And the old white lady went all red (!) and looked completely outraged. She goes: 'How dare you call me a racist, how dare you! I've watched 'Roots' don't you know!'
And then there was a great deal of tutting and huffing from both parties as they went their separate ways.
Honestly, you don't expect this sort of thing in Waitrose. Well...spose it's better than the fisticuffs you get in Morrisons over the marked-down baked goods.
By the way: I only just realised that Jordi LaForge from Star Trek WAS Kunta Kinte - the things you don't know, eh - there's just so many of 'em!