Sunday, 1 January 2012

New Year's Embarrasment

Recycling section of kitchen had begun to look like 'when the war was over....' so I bunged the whole lot in sholley and went up to the 'Come One, Come All' bins where you can bung in almost everything.

Unfortu, the bins had recently been emptied and I had at least 7 seven thousand (11) champagne bottles to chuck in; the noise was tremendously loud.  But, on my behalf, it WAS 2pm.  A woman nearby opened up her window and yelled at me, she said: 'Stop that racket, don't you know there are people with hang-overs here?'

I said I was very sorry and wouldn't be long.  She harrumphed, then leant further out the window and stared at me.  She said: 'How long have you been in this country?'  I said: '47 years, give or take,' and she said: 'Well, you think you'd have realised this is OUR new year's day.  You should've been taught these things before you came here.'

So, I joined in and said: 'So sorry that I missed the lecture, dear.'  And then, you'll never guess, she said: 'Back in your own country they'd probably cut your hand off.'

I think she was not only racist but quite obviously blind and deaf as I am the whitest of honky crackers with a strong North London accent, to boot.  I was a bit put out with her attitude, I can tell you - after all, suppose I was some newly arrived person simply trying to do their recycling?  Such a thing would've left a terrible impression.

I shouted up at her: 'Bloody infidel!'  She screamed and slammed her window shut.  I then legged it at 2mph (double my usual speed) in case she came downstairs and beat me with a crucifix - or a gin bottle or something.  People, eh?

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