I forgot to tell you: I'm desperately trying to get me audio clips onto the PAGE called Audio Clips - makes sense don't it?
Can I work it out? Toof! Like a monkey learning shorthand, thus far, mate. Dear oh dear. Any help gratefully accepted, nudge, nudge.
By the by. I saw the unnecessarily thin man from the Santeria Newsagents as I went down the shops - and his arm is in a cast! Now, last time I heard about him, Melvis was going to 'have a word' with him about thin-Santeria-man's possible involvement in dobbing Melv into the polis.
So, of course, I saw old Melvis on my way back home. He's ubitquitous, that bloke; I tell you, even if you pull a jersey over your head you wouldn't be surprised to see Melvis standing in front of you. So, I told him that I'd seen skinny-Santeria-man.
'Looks like he's broken his arm,' I said. Melvis put his hands on his hips, sucked his teeth and looked very put out, he said: 'I know, and I'm not happy about it, believe you me I'm not.'
I said: 'Oh dear, Melv, why's that then?'
And he said: 'It weren't bleeding me what broke it, that's what.'
So I asked if Melvis thought that skinny-Santeria had been the one to dob him in, and Melvis said no, he didn't think it was him after all. So I said: 'So why'd you want to break his arm then?'
And Melvis thought about it and said: 'Oof! He's just got that look about him.'
And when I asked 'what look', Melvis looked at me and shook his head, he said: 'Carol, you've gotta learn, in this life, that some people are just asking for a good slap. Know what I mean?'
I said, yes. It was easier.
Oh, and on a differs subject, we are getting another foster dog on Monday. 6mths old half Labrador half Rottweiler with no name: the nameless Rottador. Depends on what he looks like but I fancy calling him Ronnie Cashbolt, after mum's old greengrocer.