Sunday, 25 September 2011

Melvis and the Polis!

Cor!  This morgen approx. 9.30am I was woken out of the old somnus by 'Crash, Bang, Wallop (what a picture)' - sounded like the ruddy ceiling was coming in.  Honestly, it was from Melvis's upstairs and I thought he knocked a wardrobe or a bookcase over.  His dog started barking like mad and I heard old Melvis going: 'Here up, look at all this mess you've made.'  So I thought, ah, Melvis has been out on steptoe duty, found some giant piece of furni, him and a mate have lugged it upstairs and then dropped it.  So me and Man Friday woke up and ran to door frame type sketch (not really, but we were a bit, what the bloody hell) and MF sneaked to the front door for a butchers.

And it was only a million old Bill...well, half  a dozen.

MF heard two of them talking to Melvis (couldn't make it out though) and saw a van AND a police car parked right outside.  So, obvi, they had bashed the door in with that battering ram thingy and no wonder he said: 'Look all at all the mess you've made.'

Well, they didn't cart him off cos he would've shouted to MF to look after the dog.  Dunno what it was about but no doubt will find out via horse's mouth itself as Melvis is the estate's 'man about town' - he is a ubiquitous presence.  I know he's 'got some fingers in some pies' but he's not all bad by any means.

After all, whilst MF was in hospedale, he took Connie Brix for a run every day which was very decent of him.  Imagine if Michael Caine (aged 45) was mixed race and had the voice of Sid James (off the Carry On films) and that's what he looks and sounds like.

He is quite a lark.

Will let you know what's going on.  Last time he did a stretch it was for constantly cutting his tag off (which he got for decking a policeman...never wise, whatever the provocation).

Oh.  The head of the UN is called Ban Ki-Moon; I thought it was Banki Moon - trips off the tongue easier.  However, don't suppose you'd want to be called Banki  - too easy, just too easy.  That said, probably nothing even similar in Thailand (I think he's Thai).

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